I am the creator of my own existence. I hold all responsibility for my actions, reactions, and thoughts. My experiences are designed with or without care, I choose which. I am the designer, creator, healer, artist, dancer, officiant, and regulator.

Vision board and a mission, baby! All is as it should be.

I am expanding, I am growing, I am healing, I am building. I AM.

High on gratitude in this moment, soaking it all in, feeling warmed up from the inside out. I’m currently taking a writing workshop and today I’m learning all about publishing. Images of taking my artistic soul-food even further display themselves across my mind as this feeling of “It’s all already mine!!” crept into my heart center. Just rereading that last sentence sends vibrations through my chest. Manifestor energy! <– but more on that later!

Every single thought you have is laying the groundwork for what you perceive and experience in the future. Pause for a moment and reflect on the thoughts that drift in and out of your mind every day, those are only 5% of your total thoughts – as 95% are subconscious.

95%!

Your thoughts become things and your words are your wand. I know I say this all the time, but I don’t foresee that message ever not being important.

If 95% of our thoughts are subconscious, then that means 95% of unchecked thoughts are exactly what is predominantly creating our lives. Designing the things we will have, experience, do, say, and feel. Comprehending this is golden, because once we realized the gravity and the responsibility we must assume ownership of in order to be mindful; we can absolutely create the life we want, and the change we can create with our own mindset is invaluable. Indifference and ego may get in the way, but someday, whether in this life or the next, the time will come when people understand how mindfulness must leak into every area of our lives if we ever want to be truly self-aware and fulfilled.

We spend a lot of time talking about something we want, but often never sit down and make a plan of action. The doubters will say, “You didn’t manifest that, you just did the thing.” That’s fine, but this work goes hand in hand with mindful thoughts, mindful speak, and mindful ACTION. It’s a total recipe. The groundwork is programing your subconscious mind, and the results will be monumental.

I invite you now, to take an introspective look within;
What does your self-talk look like? What does your inner voice sound like?
What kind of things do you allow inside your mind? What thoughts do you allow yourself to have about others? What do you think about humans in general? Do you think the human race is generally good or evil? Now, what have your life experiences been like? Do they reflect your thoughts?
Do you live in lack and beliefs of scarcity? Does your bank account match those beliefs?
Do you hate on others? Do you hate on yourself?
Do you get envious of what other people have, feeding thoughts of lack? Do you feel stagnant and blocked in your life as a result?
Do you feel superior, or secretly think you know all the answers? Are you expanding in diversity, or have you stayed in the same zone for most of your life?

What we communicate with the Universe, we receive.
If I won’t shut up about how tired I am all the time, guess what? My focus is on exhaustion and I will be exhausted.
If I’m always complaining, I will always reap negativity.
If I focus on how much I hate something, all I’m going to do is become poisoned by that hatred. Believe me, I spent a lot of my life feeling resentment inside of my heart towards the past, feeling wounded and unable to let go. I had to redirect my thoughts.
If you demonize money and feel like you’re always broke and cringe every time you check your bank account, you’re sending messages to the Universe that you are stuck in scarcity and the Universe will allow you to stay there until you shift your mindset.
If I am on a strict diet and all I can think about is dessert and how much I hate my belly rolls, guess what? I’m going to obsess until I eat the cake and cry about the jeans that don’t fit me. Now, first and foremost, know where I stand – You deserve to eat the cake (maybe keep it to one piece instead of the whole thing, but who hasn’t been there lol), but your body also deserves for you to not punish her and diminish her, calling her names and belittling her every imperfection. Shift the perspective; instead of looking in the mirror and saying unkind things to yourself; hold her, tell your body that you love her, that you’re thankful for her, that she is healthy and capable. She will become healthier and more capable as you feed your soul with nurturing self-talk, because nurturing self-talk begins to reprogram the subconscious mind. As your perspective begins to shift, your habits will as well. You won’t feel the intense need to binge as a salve for how unhappy you are, you will gain pride from nurturing your body physically because you’ve started to nurture her mentally.

You get the point. Thoughts become things and this can be applied to every single area of your life.

I heard “Manifest Your Reality” for a long time before I ever actually took it seriously. It was something I could spout out to my 5-year-old, at the time, whenever she’d cop an attitude. I was communicating real wisdom and truth to her, but I didn’t see it fully myself. I still had a filter on, I wasn’t seeing the full potential, I wasn’t grasping the depth…

Because I wasn’t ready yet.

This filter that society and organized religion has placed over our eyes is SO POWERFUL. I get it, I feel it, I’ve fallen victim to it time and time again, but what you see at face value is never all there is. The depth we can reach within to see things from different slants is so amazing to me, because it shows how expansive the mind truly is. Dig deeper, there is always more below the surface to something than we may expect.

My great gramma used to say, “Cast your bread upon the waters and it will return to you.” She was a saint of a woman, a loving Christian I believe the real Mary Magdalene would have been proud of. I can write these words now with no animosity, despite my wounded Christian background, because I can see there is so much wisdom rooted in all religions and teachings, all different interpretations of the innate wisdom we hold within us. When I was a girl, I remember hearing my mother lovingly talk about my gramma, and how this phrase referred to generosity, but what would happen if we turned this generosity inwards and began to fuel our bodies with love? Anything you can imagine! –> Beyonce didn’t become Beyonce without a lot of positive self-talk and action, the same goes for you and me. Put in the work, reprogram your subconscious mind.

What you put out; you get back. What you invest in, returns. What you nurture, grows. And the same can be said for the opposite. If I’m not feeling loved, my love withers and I lose the energy to nurture where I’m not being nurtured in return. I remember my dad saying if two dogs get in a fight the one you feed is the one that wins, and such is the mind.

If you want to reprogram your subconscious mind; stalk your brain, pay attention, and redirect your thoughts towards success, goals, compassion, nurturing self-talk, and reprogram your thoughts with mindful redirection, I AM’s, affirmations, awareness, love, intentional living…you can do it.

If I can, you can. Together we rise.

What do you intuitively already know? What do you have the capacity for? Do you take the time to tune into your body and ask what it is trying to tell you? This was such a foreign concept to me when I began this journey. “What is your body telling you,” seemed like a hollow thing people were saying and I didn’t understand it. Again, I had my blinders on. I needed to slow down and get in touch with my body and develop an understanding of her that I hadn’t allowed myself to do before. I had to check in and feel what I was feeling on a cellular level. The world we live in has become so loud, busy, and flashy; we’ve become so disconnected from ourselves. When I learned how to tune into my body – a concept that I will always continue to hone in on for the rest of my life – going with the flow in certain areas became unbearable to me, because I was no longer desensitized to things that weren’t serving me. When my body would physically tense up, I knew something was off. It’s taken a lot of love and communication with myself to differentiate between anxiety and intuition. In a world where we are told we can’t trust ourselves (our intuitive gifts), all we’re left with is anxiety and it takes a lot of work to fine tune that understanding and cultivate trust within your body again. I have apologized and heard women apologize for their gut feelings and thoughts a million times over. How do we learn to stop dismissing our gifts? We must deconstruct all of the limiting beliefs that hold us back. Don’t diminish yourself or apologize for the way you feel, don’t minimize yourself the way other people have minimized you all your life. Do not assume ownership of someone else’s projections of insecurity and fear when they try to take you down with them. Have your own back. You deserve to trust yourself; you deserve to listen to your body and discover what the hell that even means. ❤

I AM’s help us to reframe and reprogram the subconscious mind. I AM’s help us rebuild. Here are a few I AM’s to help you redirect your mindset. Try these whenever you think of it; in the car, in the shower, while washing dishes, on your morning run, it doesn’t matter. Sneak them in any chance you can and create your own as well. These are simply a few of my regulars:

I AM open to receive. – Guidance, abundance, blessings, healing, personal growth, love, self-love, money, happiness. Never turn down a gift. When we deny the offers of others, we are communicating with the Universe that we are not open to receive, creating lack. If you want abundance in your life, call it in and level it up with immense gratitude.

I AM enough. I AM worthy. I AM whole. – I know having a romantic partner to complete us has been totally romanticized, as is doubting ourselves, looking outside of ourselves for validation, or religious shame that has been perpetuated to make you think you need an outside source to save you from yourself, but you have been taught to feel this way by a paradigm that was not formed in your best interest. You are enough, you are divinity in form, you are raw magic. Don’t let any false beliefs, that don’t even truly belong to you, rule your mindset. You complete yourself, you are trustworthy, and once we realize this as a whole, there will be much less broken people flinging their damage all over the place furthering even more damage. Instead, we might show up whole and complete with healthy mindsets of what we deserve, how we deserve to be treated, and how others deserve to be treated by us. We will operate with love, understanding, compassion, and empathy instead of judgement and resentment or martyr syndrome.

I AM healing. I AM safe. – We all have healing to do from past traumas and experiences and no one’s pain invalidates your own. Program your subconscious mind to release resentment and bitterness towards anyone that has hurt you in the past, so you can move forward. This is not about anyone else but you. You live in your head, no one else. This is your story, your experience, your life – reclaim it!

I AM ever-evolving and expanding. – This is one of my favorites. I fell into atheism for a while in my late teens/early 20’s. Abandonment and bitterness led me into a radical pendulum swing from religion and chased me into the arms of atheism. Quite literally, I found myself eloping with a stranger on a Monday afternoon, he was an atheist and while I had been so used to looking outside of myself for answers from my religious upbringing, I carried that right into this relationship. I adopted arrogance in atheism, I assumed my partner’s beliefs as my own, and I closed my mind off entirely to everything. Close mindedness is a slippery slope, because once we assume we know everything, our learning completely halts. Now, in my 30’s, I strive to be a learner for the rest of my days. I’ll probably still be layering on new certifications in my 90’s and I wouldn’t have it any other way, because I adore learning. The deeper I go, the more my mind is blown by new facets I have yet to explore. Feed your yearning for exploration in knowledge just as much as in traveling the world!

I AM mindful and self-aware. – This really ties in to the latter. Personal development and awakening is deep integration of the new things we’re learning. Self-awareness has everything to do with this, because dissecting our behaviours and our WHY’s helps us understand how to better move forward. Do your shadow work; own every aspect of yourself, shift the things that need attention and sharpen your awareness.
The other night we were saying goodnight to my oldest daughter. We have a secret handshake that we do every single night (I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom 😉), but it’s easy to get caught up and feel impatient at times when you’re tired and ready to enjoy your kid-free time at night, am I right? She was stalling and playing around, so my partner got fed up and walked out with a short, “My time is valuable. Goodnight.” I started to explain to her that she needs to be self-aware of wasting people’s time and yadda yadda, when I realized something key. She needed that attention, she was stalling and playing around, because we’ve been crazy busy and haven’t been as attentive as she needed us to be. I needed to be self-aware here, not her. She was communicating her needs clearly, kids always do, because they don’t have the filters or layers of conditioning piled on yet. My partner came back and they hugged it out and she went to bed on a good note. Kids are so open and forgiving.
I choose to do better, even if it means waking up at 4am to knock out my work ahead of time so I can be more present. I must do whatever it takes to improve. Getting up at 4am most certainly is NOT my norm, but I did it today and I feel really proud of it, lol.

Keep up the good work, my loves. You are growing, expanding, and ever-changing. You are reprogramming your subconscious mind.

I love you.

My two-year-old found a long pink tube of bubbles today. Delighted, she brought them to me, looking up at me with her big blue eyes,
“Bubbles!!” she squealed.
I unscrewed the cap and began blowing bubbles in the middle of my kitchen. She danced around in delight as she chased them, captivated by the glistening rainbows before they met their demise as she swiped at them with her perfect little hands.

This is when I noticed something interesting; she would fixate on one or two as they drew closer to the floor, eventually getting on her hands and knees to examine them closely, all while about 40 bubbles floated above and behind her. When I’d try to catch her attention to get her to look at them, she was too sidetracked. Baby girl would soon cry out over the two that popped on the floor, face twisting up, probably followed by an adorably and equally appalling toddler uttered f-bomb, but by the time she would turn back around, the others had already fallen and popped themselves.

We do this all the time. We chase “bubbles” and become so fixated on one thing that we end up missing opportunity elsewhere, and you know what? I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to waste any more time allowing something trivial to consume my attention when there are bigger and more important things going on literally everywhere else around me.

Right here, right now: I choose to make conscious efforts not to become too preoccupied to notice the magic all around me, simply because I’m chasing one or two mediocre bubbles that are falling flat at my feet.

Perspective is a wild notion. Everything we perceive is through a filter created by our conditioning and past experiences. When perspective begins to shift, we see the same thing we’ve always seen, only now with so much more clarity and depth.

I sat in the stands of a Lizzo concert with my oldest daughter; shortly after I’d begun working through another intense layer of my spiritual awakening; this layer was titled, “Self-Love” and it was a long time coming. As I listened to Lizzo’s words, the queen of confidence and body love, I felt them rush through my heart and pump into my entire body. I felt her words more deeply than I had ever taken the time to previously grasp before. When I heard her speak, I finally understood her magical sense of self-love and I felt that love sink even deeper into my own body than I knew was imaginable. This was the liberation of reframed perspective. This was the liberation of not being defined by anyone else but yourself, not simply bending to the ways of how you’re told to think, this is what it felt like to choose you and to love every exhilarating minute of it.

I’ve spent a lot of my life with a crap perspective, we all do at one point or the other. I remember going to the grocery store with the most deterring energy that I could muster, and believe me, it was a lot of bad energy. I was so miserable, I walked around like a black hole – willing to take anyone down that got close enough, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I would side-eye any man that would even consider approaching me in public, and I even scowled and turned my head away from the cute baby in the check out line in front of me. I was straight up not having a good time, guys. When I got back to my car, I saw my reflection in the driver’s side window and my shirt said, “Good Vibes”. I was literally a walking oxymoron. I was so focused on my own crap attitude that I projected that bad energy onto everyone else around me, while also looking like a total fraud. I was a total fraud. I was engrossed in the tiny circles of two popped bubbles that had landed on the floor at my feet.

There is a sense of beauty and freedom in backing off and looking at life from a bigger perspective. We will always learn more when we stop, collaborate, and listen. Ha, yep. But really, there is wisdom to be found everywhere and we don’t know everything. Keep your head up, baby.

I love you, always.