Growing up in the 90’s and 2000’s, I was always holding myself to the standards of Monica and Rachel from Friends. Not to mention, all of my friends were smaller than me and I was always caught in comparison. I grew up thinking rail thin was the ideal and I strived to accomplish that ideal through years of disordered eating. My first boyfriend glamorized feeling my hip bones as an armrest once I started starving myself and it was all history from there on out. I would look in the mirror and suck in my stomach to see my entire ribcage, cringing over how fat I was.

This is where I reach back in my memories and lovingly hold that wounded young girl and say, “Child, it’s okay to love yourself. You’re beautiful and you don’t have to be like everyone else to be worthy of happiness or self love. You’re not defined by anyone else but your own joy. You’re gonna really love those hips you’ve got one day.”

I find it interesting looking back on that now, because I notice the type of women that I’m attracted to today and they’re all women with a similar body type to my own, which is totally ironic, because every now and then I still find my mind attempting to repeat patterns by telling myself that model thin is still the ideal.

Girl, bye. All bodies are fire.

This entire post is inspired by a quick IG scroll and some very thin legs that made my mind go, “I wish my legs looked like that.” I’m all lower half; I’m a curvy girl with thick legs and hips for days. Immediately I thought, why did I just think that? I’m personally attracted to curves and softness, why do I forget and still fall into old patterns of comparison? I’d never want any woman to feel less than for simply being different than someone else. Chocolate cake and cherry pie are both delish and one is not more acceptable than the other, they’re simply different. Just like a woman in a 00 is no more superior to a full figured woman in a size 20, or vice versa. All are exquisite in their own forms. While I get mad that I rubbed the thighs out of yet another pair of leggings, someone else is wishing they could fill out their jeans in the first place. We all have different body image struggles, but what if we shifted this perspective and started gassing ourselves and each other up instead?

Baby girl, be kind to yourself. We all struggle, but why? Who taught us to compare? Personally, I think without patriarchy, we’d probably be a lot more accepting and loving to ourselves, because we never would have grown up thinking we were simply eye candy for men, but I digress… I think this is why lesbians are so damn powerful, they don’t apologize for their natural bodies as much, because they don’t play by the same rules and I ADORE THAT.

Our bodies are not apologies and I hate that sometimes I feel guilty for existing as the “wrong thing” but this is part of the growing process, the healing journey home to SELF, and the growth mindset work I’ve been doing.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the concept that one body type is ideal over any other is simply absurd. Just because we’ve all been told what to think doesn’t mean we have to obey!👈

“OBEY.”🤢

Love handles are sexy af, soft bellies are my favorite, your thin long legs for days are amazing and you look like a statue, and that juicy ass is everything. We all have stretch marks and cellulite no matter how big or how small, we all have insecurities, and we’re ALL bangin’.🔥

I love that you’re a real live human being.

I love that I am too.

Just a little reminder.🥰

///// I challenge you to comment something underground that you love about yourself or others. I’m not talking mainstream thinking of giant tits and lips, though who doesn’t love those! I’m talking the real.

I’m a fan of love handles on the hips. They didn’t get their name on accident. 😉

This time last year I was journaling about my yearning for community. I was new on my journey home to myself and I felt isolated. I wanted more, I wanted to make a difference, I wanted to grow and heal from my past, I wanted to have purpose and feel fulfilled, I wanted to build more confidence and love for myself, I wanted to speak my truth and help others do the same, I wanted to explore spirituality without religion and deepen my connection to self and Source.

Today, I write that short recap of goals with a little smile on my face, because I feel like I’ve called all of those things into my life in better ways than I even knew possible at the time when I wrote it.

In 2020 I finished coaching school and found my people. I found family from all across the world that want me to succeed and win. I have developed and began cultivating new skills, new passions, new talents, new friends, and I’ve gotten cozier at home with myself than I ever have been before. I began apprenticing at a tattoo shop that feels like home with a unique vibe that can’t be found anywhere else. I weave magick into my daily life and into my work every day. I feel good about the journey. It’s been easy, it’s been hard, it’s been beautiful, and it’s been ugly. Such is the journey. Today I face things head on with more fire than I even knew was burning within me. I have done things that scared me all year long and I didn’t die from facing any of those fears; from owning my own truth like never before, to standing my ground and learning how to express anger, forgiveness, and everything in between.

I’m thankful for 2020. I’m thankful for every mentor that has truly changed my life this year; Olivia Seline, Julie Parker, Dawn Thompson, Jess Wagner, Lauren Kester, Lizzy Jeff, and Erica Rose. So many amazing women have touched my life this year. I’m so thankful for you.

Here’s to 2021, nothing but growing pains and growing gains!

Trigger Warning: Self harm, suicide, abuse.

I didn’t expect the feelings I felt as I watched this old tattoo on my wrist disappear…

I felt a little choked up.

I felt a little freedom.

Release.

I felt ready to move forward.

I also felt sad as old memories flooded me, I found myself reaching back to comfort those past versions of myself as they crumbled in my memories, each in such different phases of life.

“Thank you for getting me here. We’re good. We made it through. We’re so strong. I love you.”

On the surface, this was just one of my earliest tattoos that wasn’t very good, the French lettering was spelled wrong, but the intention of the original tattoo was, “Let Go.”

Before I got this tattoo, a phone call interrupted one of my self harm sessions. I was sitting on the floor flirting with the idea of going deeper.

So tired of pretending.

So tired of shape shifting.

I felt so caged.

I was born and raised to be fearful and my fear of death held me in check. This practice helped me find a release in a world where I had to keep every natural thing about myself on lock, unless they were considered “acceptable” behavior or “proper” feelings.

– Shut it down unless it’s nice –

We’ve all felt this.

When that call came through, I received the news that my friend had felt the same, only he escaped this life. After he passed away, I vowed to myself to stop self harming. I got this tattoo and kept that promise to myself for several years…

During the worst year of my life, I found myself sitting on the floor in the kitchen. Hardly able to see through blurry tears, holding a shard of glass from my broken coffee pot after it had been smashed. I felt empty, hopeless, and like I could never recover or reclaim my life as my own. I felt entirely out of control, I felt owned by an abusive partner. I started to dig the glass into my wrist and push deeper when Ava’s face popped into my mind. Things were always the worst whenever she was away at her dad’s. “Thank goodness.” I contemplated that she would be safe and taken care of and I kept pushing and slashing the glass deeper still; scaring my tattoo and breaking my early promise to myself. This broken promise was interrupted by accusations that I was just being dramatic and mockery for, “doing it wrong.”

When I look back at the girl, lost and alone on both occasions; I remember her hopelessness, I feel her pain, and I remember what it felt like to be powerless.

I do not feel powerless today. I do not feel caged, I feel free.

I feel liberated by the closing of that chapter in my life. I know who I am, where I’m going, and who’s on my team. Every struggle is a metamorphosis for something.

And I’m starting to realize that I can fucking fly.

So can you.

You are writing your own story, if you’re not happy with the way things are, how can you change it? What needs to be burned to the ground? What quenches your thirst for life? What feeds your soul? Get clear on the things that drain you and the things that save you. You’re not here to people please and be nice all the time. We’ve all had to simply survive at one point or the other; but we can build, we can heal, we can elevate, and we can grow.

Grow with me. If you’d like to dive deeper, contact me! I have 1:1 coaching client spaces available, as well as my soul sister workshop; Vintage Wild Soul, a causal place to find and create epic support within a safe space.

I love you so much.

The hardest times produce the most growth, just ask the butterflies.

Aura Henre, spoken while happy and feeling free.

I said this yesterday, but it rings truer today, in this moment. Because in this moment, this place is a shit show!

As a parent to strong willed toddlers, do you ever feel like you’re just about to fucking lose it? I held M today, totally dissociating from my body as she screamed bloody murder (for…who knows how long, I lost time) trying to hold space and allow her the freedom to get it all out.

But inwardly, I had so many awful thoughts drifting in and out:

I just need to drop this kid on the couch and smash my head into a wall.

I just want to get in my car and disappear forever. Freedom!

I hate being a parent, why did I fucking do this shit?

Take a breath with me now. Ready? Phew.

We are not our thoughts or our emotions.
They drift in and out.
They come and go.
They do not define us.

I do love being a parent, I do love my family, and I’m not going anywhere. I also do need a break from time to time, because we all do and we’re all going through shit and it’s difficult.

Heavy clouds of smoke are billowing through my house right now, because I saged TF out of this bitch. My attempts and grasps for any shred of sanity. I’m not watering it down, I’m not toning down my language, this is real life and this is how I feel. So what am I supposed to learn through this experience? What do I need to heal? How can I grow through this season of my life? How can I find peace in the chaos? How can I ground in? I’m spending some time journaling through these questions this week.

This is real.

Listen, mama. You’re not alone. I am love and light AND I am pain and darkness, because you can’t only have one or the other. We are equally human AND divinity. We have these days and it’s real, being a parent is really hard, being a human is really hard too. We need to give ourselves grace and remind ourselves that it’s okay to feel the feelings, get them out, move them through and then move forward. Release the mom-guilt, release the need to be perfect, release the concept that we can only be polished and must hide the rest under bated breath. We’re not here to preform, we’re doing our best.

Take a breath and ground in. Come back to center.

You’re doing a really good job.

I want to speak to the hearts of those that crave to be seen and heard. I want to embrace the women that feel lost, empty, broken, and alone.

Because I feel that.
I’m her.
I have been her for my entire life.

This journey back home to myself is never ending. I heal, dig up old patterns, heal some more, revisit traumas, heal again, layer, after layer, after layer… I don’t speak eloquently like all of the other coaches and mentors. I don’t have the woke lingo down pat. I don’t always have the perfect words to spin into art to ease your aching spirit, but I love you with all of my heart and soul.

I see you. I feel you. I am you.

My intention is set. My motives are raw. I have been so broken, so lost, so far away from my true self at times that I understand what it’s like, I understand how it hurts. I have spent most of my life in self betrayal, trying to fit the molds created for other people, other bodies, other genders, other roles that were never meant for me. I’ve changed myself so many times through the years to gain approval. Trying to form fit into religions, relationships, friendships, jobs…just to be the “right” thing.

Enough.

I know how much it hurts to always give yourself away. To hand the reigns of your life over to others that don’t deserve to drive, or even know what’s best. Only I know that. Only YOU know that. We are the drivers of our lives, take back the control. Yes, we may lose some approval along the way, but nothing is more fulfilling than finding the approval of SELF.

Release the judgement towards yourself. Aura, are you listening? Release the judgement towards yourself. Life is full of ebbs and flows; we rise, we fall, we bloom in the spring, we go inward in the fall. This is our cyclical nature, be kind to yourself. We can’t run at max speed 100% of the time, we’re not wired that way. Go inward when getting the message loud and clear to do so. When wounded, go treat the infection. When feeling depleted, seek nourishment. When running ragged, take care of YOU.


This is what the journey back home to my true self looks like. It’s not all palo santo and clicking away at the keys of my computer as I write self-proclaimed philosophical musings, it’s not recording guided meditations, or doing yoga and clean eating. Sometimes it’s waking up feeling low, feeling insecure, not good enough. Sometimes it means getting to the nitty gritty, facing all the shit I try to hide from the world, facing my failures and then realizing that those feelings of defeat aren’t even failures at all, but leveling up opportunities. Take something from every stumble, learn from the pitfalls, be humble and continue building.


Today I choose to release the judgement. I choose to love myself even if I accomplish nothing and eat 4 churro cheesecake bars, even after the whole day passes and I haven’t spent any of my time in meditation, even when I feel bad for not responding to emails because I’m feeling depressed. I am human. I don’t only feel the light and fluffy emotions. I feel it all.

Today I choose not to be sorry for being human and I hope you can do the same, because we’re all in this together.


I love you.

Picture this. Your car’s been broken into for the third time this year, you work an unrewarding job that you hate and you believe that hustle and grind is the meaning of life, you feel that people are generally untrustworthy, selfish, and out to get you. If you claim that people can’t be trusted, you will never be able to fully trust yourself. If you claim people are always out to get you, you’re projecting feelings you have within. You believe you never have enough, the Universe mirrors that back to you and you reap a life of resentment.
If you’re a mother of young children and you’re concerned that people judge your parenting, a lot of times it’s because you are stuck in judgement of other people’s parenting yourself; your words are a reflection of what’s within you.
We all know a wounded soul that claims to be a bitch because they assume people think they’re a bitch. In projecting their insecurities, they become what they fear and reap the rewards of burning bridges.
When a child goes to the doctor or the dentist with intense fear of shots, the result is more fear and anxiety which tenses up the physical body and greater pain becomes their reality.
When I take cold showers focused on my breath, the heartbeat, and the blood rushing through my veins, I feel exhilarated, but if I count the seconds as I stand in freezing cold water, it nearly burns my skin and feels unbearable. Catch my drift?

People are mirrors for us, most often the thing that triggers us about others is a reflection of our own internal baggage. This is a gift, because once we realize this, we have the opportunity to go inward and do our own healing.

I spent so much time in resentment and insecurity that I attracted a relationship that was recreated in the same image of the toxicity that I ran from. I witnessed my partner focus so much on lack of money and debt, resulting in more debt and scarcity beliefs. When I get caught in a shit attitude and perspective, that continues to mirror shit right back to me. It all ties together, because without shifting your mindset and the words that come out of your mouth, you will continue to reap negativity, resentment, scarcity, and lack.

What goes around, comes around. What you pour your focus into becomes your reality. This can be a vicious cycle, or if harnessed correctly, this can be your greatest asset! The law of attraction states that we attract exactly what we bring to the table.

This knowledge is a powerful life hack, because once we realize that we reap what we sow and that we are always manifesting our future, we can be mindful and self-aware enough to choose to change our thought patterns, we will be more careful with the way we word things, the entertainment and company we fill our minds with, and we will begin to speak abundance into our lives instead. Whether you realize it or not, if you are living a life you’re unhappy with, it’s because you’ve forgotten that you are creating with every thought and word you speak – and that is a major responsibility, my loves.

The mind is so powerful.

I believe this is why prayer has proven to be so powerful. You are speaking your needs into the Universe and she is responding to the frequency of your vibration. How beautiful.

Thoughts are key and we can retrain them! I’ve learned how important and powerful my words are, and to be mindful of the things I create with my speech. Now, I’m reaping the benefits of more fulfillment, more confidence, self-compassion and body love, sisterhood, uplifting community, and magical abundance in so many areas of my life, because I’ve finally realized that my words are my wand. And this is just the beginning.

I really want to be more focused and present. I’ve slowly turned a corner and I am now learning to soak up all of the beauty in the world around me. This shift has greatly affected my relationship with life as I become more lit up with appreciation, honoring the sacrality of myself and the world around me. I want to face each morning with awe and wonder, I want to honor the sacred earth and its infinite bounty; infinite bounty in the form of water droplets pooled in the cup of a brittle fallen leaf, intricate colonies of mushrooms on a forgotten log in the forest, ripples in a pond from a fallen acorn – extending further and further, the deep resonating vibrations of music that make every cell in my body dance, swirling smoke in a ray of sunshine filtering in through the window, the electricity that shoots through my magnificent body when I touch or taste, having a roof over my head, never going without… There is so much to be in awe of; life is so complex and you, my love – you have so much in your life to be madly in love with, madly grateful for, and wildly happy about. So get vocal and be deeply grateful, and watch the abundance pour in. Don’t fall for the distraction techniques used to keep you numbed to the wonder. Wake up, baby. It’s a magical world over here, step through the portal.

Being open to receive in our daily life is tied to being open to receive from the Universe when we’re trying to manifest the things we want. How do you feel when you’re given a compliment, a gift, or if a friend buys you lunch? Do you get really uncomfortable with it or do you get excited and filled with gratitude? It feels sticky and awkward to try to gift someone that is really bad at receiving. This concept ties into abundance and the law of attraction as well, we want to be open to receive and radiate on the frequencies of receiving – allowing the channels to be open for abundance to be magnetized to you, so get good at receiving! Say thank you when you receive a compliment, don’t get caught up in ego/pride, don’t take the joy away from the gifter by making it weird. Tap into gratitude. Rewire your thoughts and your words, communicate with the Universe that you are open to receive and the Universe will follow through. ❤

Gratitude is the secret sauce for manifesting.

I’ve been really evaluating this in myself lately as I’ve recognized feelings of lack around booking new clients, because I could really use the money. But then I had to catch myself and realize; if I want to be open to receive, I was shooting myself in the foot by operating on the frequencies of lack. So now, I’m trying to practice gratitude for the things I already have and when I speak my manifestations, I speak as if they are already mine. If I say, “I really need to book a paying client,” the Universe says, “Oh she NEEDS a paying client. Go on then, keep NEEDING.” If I shift to this instead, “Oh my gosh, I absolutely love my work, my clients are amazing, I have everything I need, I am so abundant! Soulmate clients are transforming their lives and it’s such an honor to be apart of that!” The Universe responds by giving you everything you claim. Claim the life you want; dream it, think it, feel it, speak it, have it. More on a sexy tip to take your manifestations farther, to come. 😉

Today I paid $500 on my credit card, but I really thought I was going to have $700. Instead of going into scarcity beliefs and feeling miserable that I had $200 less that I was expecting, I needed to tune into thanks that I was capable of dropping $500 on my bills and remember that now I’m $500 further away from my limit, thank goodness! I am so blessed that I could put this money on bills instead of having to spend it on food or the mortgage, because those are already paid for! I am so blessed. I have so much to be thankful for. Thank you, Universe.

“Thank you, more please!”

Be good at receiving in every aspect of your life and watch the Universe continue to bless you. You are magnetic to your desires, they love you as much as you love them. Are you operating on a frequency of lack or abundance? The choice is yours.

Repeat these affirmations with me now:

I AM operating on the frequency of abundance

I love money and money loves me.

Everything I desire, desires me.

I AM always taken care of.

I AM exactly where I am meant to be.

I AM learning, growing, expanding, shifting, and healing.

I AM open to receive love, I radiate love, I AM worthy of love, I AM love.

I am an energetic match for abundance in all areas of my life.

I AM safe, balanced, and in alignment with my highest self.

I AM open to receive.

I AM generous.

I AM a magnet for abundance. Everywhere I go, abundance is drawn to me.

I AM an energetic match to my every desire.

Remember that with more abundance opens more opportunity for you to do more good in this world. Do not demonize abundance. If you would like to unpack any old concepts around money or any conditioning you may have around feelings of unworthiness, please reach out to me! Let’s dive in and talk about your blocks and make a plan to remove them. Let’s kick your transformation in gear, I am now accepting new 1:1 clients.
You are so capable and so, so worthy.

I love you, babes. You’re so powerful, don’t forget.

I’ve been working on another layer of healing lately. Learning to really practice what I preach and drop into the body. We live in a disconnected society and often spend so much of our time abusing and belittling our bodies instead of bathing them in gratitude and love – and we are programmed to do so from a young age. I remember raising an eyebrow when I first heard this term. I mean, I was aware of meditation, breathing, and checking in to see how my body felt, but I had never gone deeper, not yet.

Now is the season of reclamation. Awaken. Plug into your inner knowing, there is no need to seek answers anywhere but within. You may have spent years buried by the conditioning of your parents, your society, your religion, your relationships, but those layers can be removed and your core, brightest self, is waiting for you patiently. Lovingly.

Drop into the body.

Get quiet. Be still. Feel into your belly, your womb space, your pussy. Remove judgement, focus.

Listen now. Just listen to the stillness.

Be aware of the thoughts that drift in and out of your mind, allowing them to pass by without any attachment.

Ask your body what a yes feels like. Today, a yes felt like a tingling in my womb area, leading down into my yoni, while a no felt like a little tightening in my lower back.

I sat still in meditation; being present in this moment, focusing on my breath.

In. Hold…
And out.

Then I began to

ask.

Yes and no questions. Prodding my soul for answers, asking about timelines, situations, relationships, life…

My body firing answers back and forth within me; the energy danced from point to point as I planted deeper roots into my own truth. When I was finished, I thanked my sacred body for being a channel to my highest self, as I felt a warm feeling of love and gratitude surround her. This energy, this wisdom, this truth – my truth. These gifts are always available to me any time I desire or need them.

This magic is available to you as well, my queens. Your intuition, your love, your emotions are your super power.

All we have to do is slow down. Start with meditation, begin to hone in and be present in your body, tune into your feelings, into your heart. Journal, wrangle the thoughts that are running wild in your mind. Put them on paper, organize your goals, visualize where you want to go, who you want to grow into, what you need to work on, be honest with yourself, embrace your shadows and your light. Where are your energetic leaks? Who makes you feel good? Who makes you feel depleted? Take notice.

Improve, baby. It’s all you.

I love you.

Carving pumpkins is one of my favorite Halloween traditions. A festive art project. This year I decided to go in without a plan and to carve intuitively and the result was the Devine Feminine; rising from the flames. A goddess rising – as a Phoenix rises from the ashes.

This is the perfect representation of the feminine in today’s society. We are witnessing a mass sorting, as a collective many of us are waking up to our power. We’re discovering how messed up things have been for a long time. Witnessing the growth in myself as I watch old tv shows or movies, because old paradigms are being rewired in my mind. Change is in the air and I invite you to question the norms you’re presented with every day.

I am no longer driven by fear, I no longer fall to the lies that we should play small or diminish our greatness to appease people stuck in comparison, habits of self hate, or control. Society has been poisoned by patriarchy. A construct to control and divide, an unnatural hierarchy that was never intended. We are blessed with diversity and connection, yet white patriarchal mindsets have tried so hard to diminish our gifts, our intuition, our wisdom. Narcissists have told us we can’t trust our intuition and we have believed them for far too long.

I am the Devine Femme.

I am in my power.

I am in control of the direction my life takes,

I am the driver.

I am the creator.

I am coming from a place of victimization, wounds, hurts, limiting beliefs, and fear, but I am no longer defined by these things.

I no longer choose to abide by societal rules or fear mongering.

I will not betray my body or tear Her down.

I will not pretend to be weak or unhappy when I am strong and fierce in my power, my magic, my manifestations, my biz, my love for myself and those around me, I am a warrior woman with a desire to live authentically wild and free.

I am the wolf that howls at the moon.

I am a wild horse running free.

I am a wild cat in the mountains.

I know exactly who I am. I was incarnated to create, to speak, to sing, to scream. I am a wild force to be reckoned with and I will not apologize. I raise fierce daughters who will not fall for your tricks or your lies. My sisterhood is strong and unbreakable, we rally up behind one another and raise each other up as we thrive, achieve, win, and build. We celebrate each other’s wins, we hustle and we rest and one is no more acceptable than the other.

We are one, we collaborate, we don’t fall for the sisterhood wound, we do not play those games.

We channel goddess energy, priestess energy – my queens.

I honor my sacred body, I am not ashamed of my sensuality, it is my super power. I will not fall to the concepts that have demonized and diminished my magic to something so frivolous and surface level when I run deep, deep, deeper… No one holds ownership of my curves or my softness. I am sovereign.

I honor me.

I honor you.

I honor growth.

I honor healing.

I honor connection.

I honor feminine radiance.

I am the Phoenix. So are you, sister.

Rise with me.

Hi, my name is Aura Lillian Joan and my sacral chakra is out of balance.

I have difficulty playing.

Sometimes I have a hard time experiencing pleasure and it’s something I’m really working on right now.

And sometimes I struggle with slowing down and being present.

The sacral chakra is your pleasure center; creativity and play, sensuality and beauty reside here. I’ve realized my sacral has been majorly out of balance for a long time. I forgot how to play, I felt insecure and sat on the side lines for such a long time. I struggled with relaxing so much that I couldn’t dance in the kitchen or jump in the pool with my kids. I was so overwhelmed with the concept that I had to be adult, perfect, polished, and composed at all times that I squashed my pleasure center like a bug and my sacral was denied and eventually baby stepped my way to shut down entirely.

I’ve come a long way this year. I feel more loving towards myself now than I ever have before, I feel more ME, more at ease, sexier – even with these love handles. Shit, especially with these love handles😏, but there is still much work to be done!

2020 has been my year of survival and growth, and it hasn’t always been pretty.

I have learned that many times our physical ailments are tied to spiritual misalignments. I denied my sexuality for my whole life, I forgot how to enjoy myself, I tried to be something I wasn’t, I cringed at the thought of being who I actually am. I have endometriosis, I struggled with infertility for many years, I held onto extra weight, wrestled with depression and forgot myself time and time again.

I’m realizing now that if I balance my sacral and focus on spending more time in pleasure and creation, some of these ailments will realign in my life and things will get better. Part of this really starts with self acceptance, no more denial. No more cringing when I call myself a lesbian, no more turning off my pleasure center because being a woman in my sexual power makes things awkward at home with my male partner. No more hiding in fear, no more insecurity.

Ownership and love reside here now.

Last night I sent a text to my partner that said, “We’re having a Halloween party as a family when I get home.” I turned on a Monster Mash Halloween playlist on Spotify when I parked the car in the driveway, stuffed my phone in my pocket and walked in the house with music blaring, candy, costumes, and pizza. Ava and I threw a plastic table cloth on the kitchen table, I dumped three bags of candy in the middle of the table, and we dug out the pumpkin carving tools. Jamming to Halloween music with my belly dancing jingle jangles on my hips, we danced, we laughed, we created a memory.

This is the medicine I need. The medicine we all need. Presence, fun, laughter, pleasure.

Tonight I plan on a self love bath with rose quarts, Epsom salts, my rose quartz yoni egg, and candles. Tuning into myself. Followed by a sacred circle and ritual with my sisters to honor my ancestors on Samhain with this glorious full moon in Taurus.

How are you bringing play, pleasure, and creativity into your life today? What lights you up?

I strive to love myself as deeply and wholly as I love everyone else and I hope you do too. Here’s to pleasure and play and a balanced sacral chakra.

I love you to the full moon and back, my loves.

A year ago, I stood amidst boxes and paint cans in my bare office and wrote furiously as tears blurred my vision. I was tired, I was lonely, I felt empty, broken, unsteady, and unsure of who I even was. I was completely disconnected from myself, plugged into a source outside of myself. I didn’t want to feel this pain anymore, the responsibility was too much with too little reward.

This was a huge turning point for me, because this is when I realized that I’d been looking at everything in my life through a filter. Once the rose-colored glasses came off, I could be more objective and see that my life was in need of a total demolition and overhaul. Part of this overhaul was finding purpose, which I found in coaching – the heart and soul-led profession that I had been doing my entire life, without even knowing there was a label and entire industry out there that defined my heart’s yearning to help nurture and cultivate others. I immediately turned to journaling and manifested the perfect coaching school into my life.

Fast forward to today, and I’m graduating from Life Coaching school with the amazing Beautiful You Coaching Academy. What an amazing journey this has been.

What are some key points of learning I’ve taken away from the past year?

Detachment and true energetic sovereignty. I am detached from the future or any end result, I surrender to the Universe, to God, to Source, (to whatever you want to call it, because it’s all the same thing) and I know everything will work out because the Universe has my back. I am safe.

People may not like the new you, the healing version of you, the powerful you – release them. Over everything, make sure you like yourself.

More self-compassion and self-love are the keys to happiness. When you love yourself, you invest in yourself, you take care of yourself, you are fully equipped to show up in the world as your best to do the most good.

Ego death. Serve your purpose without your ego getting in the way, speak freely with love, not with pride. If you notice you’re speaking from a place of ego, just stfu. =)

Every trigger you experience is an opportunity to heal something. If you’re feeling triggered, dig into yourself and reflect with intense honesty. People are mirrors.

Genuine confidence and validation within myself. I do not need anyone else to validate my feelings and if someone is in a constant state of minimizing my intuition, bye Felicia.

Mindset matters! What we believe and speak to ourselves and others becomes our truth and experience. Nearly everything I wrote in my journal to manifest into my life in January has come to fruition since! If you want it; write it, speak it, embody it! Law. Everything is energy and frequency; I choose to radiate on high levels and magnetize in all of my desires. It’s all happening! Magic is real!

To be a learner for the rest of my life and come at all things with a beginner’s mind to further my expansion.

Books are literally life expansion packs. People are so amazing and inspiring, with so much wisdom to share. Read more, mindlessly scroll less.

Intentions and words are spells. Abracadabra, honey! Live intentionally, set goals for yourself every day.

Rest is just as important as productivity. Create space to recharge! This is a non-negotiable.

Collaborate, do not get stuck in comparison. Every amazing human you admire raises your frequency with their own. This is why it’s so important to watch the company you keep.

Live as art, beauty. It is your birthright. As my baby business has been evolving, I have gone through many phases as I try to sort out who I am, my niche, what I teach, what’s important to me, and who I want to portray myself as. Turns out I’m an intricate art project with infinite layers; whether I look in the mirror, at my IG, or at my website, there is beauty and art, music, and love to be found everywhere. I live to create and I am the creator of my own happiness.

Clarity can be found within. Tune into the body, it will never steer you wrong. Learning to listen is an art form that anyone is capable of.

Meditation and nature are my medicine, my soul-food, my fuel.

I’m forever grateful for this journey and knowing that this is only the beginning of my journey is so exciting and awe inspiring. I can’t wait to look back on this day a year from now to witness the changes, leaps and bounds I know are to come. I’m so thankful for every beautiful soul that has stood by my side in one way or the other throughout this journey. I have made life long friends with humans that my heart has been waiting to be reunited with for lifetimes. I see you, loves. I am so amazed by you, and I’m so honored to witness you blossom and accomplish greatness. Together we rise. Your presence in this world makes my heart sing.

I love you so much.