Growing up in the 90’s and 2000’s, I was always holding myself to the standards of Monica and Rachel from Friends. Not to mention, all of my friends were smaller than me and I was always caught in comparison. I grew up thinking rail thin was the ideal and I strived to accomplish that ideal through years of disordered eating. My first boyfriend glamorized feeling my hip bones as an armrest once I started starving myself and it was all history from there on out. I would look in the mirror and suck in my stomach to see my entire ribcage, cringing over how fat I was.
This is where I reach back in my memories and lovingly hold that wounded young girl and say, “Child, it’s okay to love yourself. You’re beautiful and you don’t have to be like everyone else to be worthy of happiness or self love. You’re not defined by anyone else but your own joy. You’re gonna really love those hips you’ve got one day.”
I find it interesting looking back on that now, because I notice the type of women that I’m attracted to today and they’re all women with a similar body type to my own, which is totally ironic, because every now and then I still find my mind attempting to repeat patterns by telling myself that model thin is still the ideal.
Girl, bye. All bodies are fire.
This entire post is inspired by a quick IG scroll and some very thin legs that made my mind go, “I wish my legs looked like that.” I’m all lower half; I’m a curvy girl with thick legs and hips for days. Immediately I thought, why did I just think that? I’m personally attracted to curves and softness, why do I forget and still fall into old patterns of comparison? I’d never want any woman to feel less than for simply being different than someone else. Chocolate cake and cherry pie are both delish and one is not more acceptable than the other, they’re simply different. Just like a woman in a 00 is no more superior to a full figured woman in a size 20, or vice versa. All are exquisite in their own forms. While I get mad that I rubbed the thighs out of yet another pair of leggings, someone else is wishing they could fill out their jeans in the first place. We all have different body image struggles, but what if we shifted this perspective and started gassing ourselves and each other up instead?
Baby girl, be kind to yourself. We all struggle, but why? Who taught us to compare? Personally, I think without patriarchy, we’d probably be a lot more accepting and loving to ourselves, because we never would have grown up thinking we were simply eye candy for men, but I digress… I think this is why lesbians are so damn powerful, they don’t apologize for their natural bodies as much, because they don’t play by the same rules and I ADORE THAT.
Our bodies are not apologies and I hate that sometimes I feel guilty for existing as the “wrong thing” but this is part of the growing process, the healing journey home to SELF, and the growth mindset work I’ve been doing.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the concept that one body type is ideal over any other is simply absurd. Just because we’ve all been told what to think doesn’t mean we have to obey!👈
Love handles are sexy af, soft bellies are my favorite, your thin long legs for days are amazing and you look like a statue, and that juicy ass is everything. We all have stretch marks and cellulite no matter how big or how small, we all have insecurities, and we’re ALL bangin’.🔥
I love that you’re a real live human being.
I love that I am too.
Just a little reminder.🥰
///// I challenge you to comment something underground that you love about yourself or others. I’m not talking mainstream thinking of giant tits and lips, though who doesn’t love those! I’m talking the real.
I’m a fan of love handles on the hips. They didn’t get their name on accident. 😉