Hi, my name is Aura Lillian Joan and my sacral chakra is out of balance.
I have difficulty playing.
Sometimes I have a hard time experiencing pleasure and it’s something I’m really working on right now.
And sometimes I struggle with slowing down and being present.
The sacral chakra is your pleasure center; creativity and play, sensuality and beauty reside here. I’ve realized my sacral has been majorly out of balance for a long time. I forgot how to play, I felt insecure and sat on the side lines for such a long time. I struggled with relaxing so much that I couldn’t dance in the kitchen or jump in the pool with my kids. I was so overwhelmed with the concept that I had to be adult, perfect, polished, and composed at all times that I squashed my pleasure center like a bug and my sacral was denied and eventually baby stepped my way to shut down entirely.
I’ve come a long way this year. I feel more loving towards myself now than I ever have before, I feel more ME, more at ease, sexier – even with these love handles. Shit, especially with these love handles😏, but there is still much work to be done!
2020 has been my year of survival and growth, and it hasn’t always been pretty.
I have learned that many times our physical ailments are tied to spiritual misalignments. I denied my sexuality for my whole life, I forgot how to enjoy myself, I tried to be something I wasn’t, I cringed at the thought of being who I actually am. I have endometriosis, I struggled with infertility for many years, I held onto extra weight, wrestled with depression and forgot myself time and time again.
I’m realizing now that if I balance my sacral and focus on spending more time in pleasure and creation, some of these ailments will realign in my life and things will get better. Part of this really starts with self acceptance, no more denial. No more cringing when I call myself a lesbian, no more turning off my pleasure center because being a woman in my sexual power makes things awkward at home with my male partner. No more hiding in fear, no more insecurity.
Ownership and love reside here now.
Last night I sent a text to my partner that said, “We’re having a Halloween party as a family when I get home.” I turned on a Monster Mash Halloween playlist on Spotify when I parked the car in the driveway, stuffed my phone in my pocket and walked in the house with music blaring, candy, costumes, and pizza. Ava and I threw a plastic table cloth on the kitchen table, I dumped three bags of candy in the middle of the table, and we dug out the pumpkin carving tools. Jamming to Halloween music with my belly dancing jingle jangles on my hips, we danced, we laughed, we created a memory.
This is the medicine I need. The medicine we all need. Presence, fun, laughter, pleasure.
Tonight I plan on a self love bath with rose quarts, Epsom salts, my rose quartz yoni egg, and candles. Tuning into myself. Followed by a sacred circle and ritual with my sisters to honor my ancestors on Samhain with this glorious full moon in Taurus.
How are you bringing play, pleasure, and creativity into your life today? What lights you up?
I strive to love myself as deeply and wholly as I love everyone else and I hope you do too. Here’s to pleasure and play and a balanced sacral chakra.
I love you to the full moon and back, my loves.