I want to tap into my darkness and get cozy with it and I want to help other humans do the same. We’ve become so wrapped up in filters, attempting to perfect what we’ve been taught to hide and I’m fed up. I want to trash the room and shine a light on everything deep and dark.
I’m finally in a state of the rebellion that I’ve been accused of living in for my whole life. I wasn’t living in rebellion as a teenager when I left home or when I left the church. I wasn’t living in rebellion when I decided to get my first tattoo or when I left my ex-husband — forging my own path. I was deep in turmoil, deep in distress, deep in struggle many times over; the crucial metamorphosis that I needed to experience in order to develop my character, compassion, empathy, and experience. A rebirth.
This is the rebellion and I feel it resonate deep in my body. Deep in my soul. Deep in my life as my world rocks with each ebb and flow. A resounding vibration of mayhem is bubbling up from my soul, like a storm that I can no longer withhold.
I’m vandalizing all concepts of “good”.
I want to scream from the rooftops of how fed up I am of playing this societal Game that I never signed up for, recruited from the womb to march neatly, just like so.
I’m rebelling by finally choosing myself after a life of feeling unworthy. I’m rebelling by owning my darkness, my grit, and my rough edges that I am no longer inclined to file down. I’m embracing my scars, my fierceness, my magic, and my mysticism. I’m rebelling by showing up fully. I have no energy left for the facades.
I’ve devoured the old me, yet I’m still hungry for more.
Burn it down, phoenix. Burn it down and rise.
I love you always,
even covered in ashes.